Merry Christmas everyone. Despite how crappy this year has been overall, the holiday season is always different. I always look forward to this time of the year, it’s something that just makes me smile. My pup hasn’t left his new toy alone, and growled at me when I came near it. He loves his gift. But what about what was under the Christmas tree for members of the NY Rangers?
Artemi Panarin
The Breadman found some real actual scoring linemates under his tree. He also found a sponsorship for Wonder Bread. It’s rumored to be more lucrative than his current contract.
Mika Zibanejad
Zibanejad found a season of a fully healthy KZB line. It’s something he’s never had before, and I’m note entirely sure he even knows what to do with it. Oh, he also found another season of a 20% shooting rate as a stocking stuffer.
Chris Kreider
Kreider found a ‘C’ under his tree. He was really excited about that. He was really confused about his other gift though. It was a Calder Trophy.
Tony DeAngelo
DeAngelo got what he always wanted: A Biden/Harris flag. (It’s a joke, guys. Don’t take this one seriously.)
Kaapo Kakko
Kakko didn’t really get anything material. He just got a little note. The note was short but sweet:
Roses are red
Bread is good
This doesn’t rhyme
But you’re on the second line
So there’s no more Howden
And actual real players
Make sure you score
So the crowd can roar*
*-Disclaimer: Crowd may be at home
Brett Howden
He got himself a roster spot. That’s good! But he was also confused by his plane ticket to Seattle dated July 2021.
Brendan Smith
Smith got his present early this year. He got a Marc Staal trade.
Igor Shesterkin / Alex Georgiev
Both Shesterkin and Georgiev were the only players who didn’t get what he wants. They wanted an actual competent defense and penalty kill. Maybe next year.
Jacob Trouba
Trouba was really confused by his present. He got a target with his own face on it. He also got a weird threatening letter that read, “You better earn that contract.” We have a feeling this one was sent by some fans.
Brad Richards / Dan Girardi / Kevin Shattenkirk / Ryan Spooner
These guys all get paid by the Rangers to not play for them. Did they need anything else?
David Quinn
An NHL systems playbook. But this one was special. Each page says “Don’t Give Up The Blue Line By Design”
Did you get any NY Rangers gear under your Christmas tree this year? I hope so, since we got hockey coming back in a few short weeks. Enjoy the day everyone.
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