As of Sunday 8pm, we are all (in NY) under quarantine. All non-essential workers are working from home. Essential places like grocery stores, pharmacies, and liquor stores remain open. As we all sit at home, doing our part to stop the spread of the coronavirus, we are spending more time with significant others and family than previously. But what would it be like if you were quarantined with a Ranger? What would the pros and cons be? Well luckily, we’ve figured it out.
Pros: He’s a solid barber, so you can keep that hair of yours in check since all barbershops and salons are closed.
Cons: His pep talks are going to run your shampoo and conditioner budget dry.
Pros: He can help you with all your housework needs, including straightening that kitchen countertop you put in wrong.
Cons: Likely to be traded to another quarantined family at some point.
Cons: Will block any attempt at throwing things out.
Pros: Lots of money to spend on those still open liquor stores. Fiance is a health professional, as a just in case.
Cons: Time spent crying about his best friend being traded is likely to get annoying at some point.
Pros: Snow angels means clean floors.
Pros: Can perform various roles, even without prior training.
Cons: Fights with your family. Will end his quarantine with a broken hand.
Pros: Will up your social media game.
Cons: Will probably make you want to delete your social media.
Pros: Older siblings won’t mess with you if he’s in your corner.
Cons: Horrible choice in food.
Pros: Grew up a Rangers fan. Lots to talk about.
Cons: Bad sports betting advice.
Cavs in 6
Pros: Builds birdhouses.
Checking in on Artemi Panarin, birdhouse builder extraordinaire. 🐦
(📸: IG/artemiypanarin) pic.twitter.com/BuB1pQzy9b
— Sportsnet (@Sportsnet) March 16, 2020
Cons: Doesn’t finish any other projects.
Pros: Sweet DJ skills for your late night parties.
Cons: Horrible fashion sense.
Pros: Can jump out of a pool. There’s no inherent value here, but it’s just damn impressive.
Cons: Will screen your view of the tv with alarming efficiency.
Pros: Calm and collected. Never shows emotion. Under appreciated driver of house chores.
Cons: Resting Buch face.
— New York Rangers (@NYRangers) November 12, 2018
Pros: Lover of good video games.
Cons: Video game addiction. Goodbye bandwidth.
Pros: Jack of all trades.
Pros: Makes a mean cuppo cocoa.
Cons: Comes with his own religion, apparently.
Pros: Has embraced talking like a New Yorker.
Play like a NewYorker. Talk like a NewYorker 😂
— Brendan Lemieux (@blemieux22) February 26, 2020
Cons: He’s probably going to spend most of his time without a shirt.
Pros: Doesn’t tweet. You’d be amazed at how big of a pro this is.
Cons: Bound to knock someone in your family over.
a qui la faute sur cette action ou Filip Chytil en plus de marquer rentre en contact avec Tuukka Rask qui subit une commotion cérébrale. Pour moi McAvoy n'est pas sans faute dans le contact, vous en pensez quoi? @NYRangersFR @BostonBruinsFr @increddyble pic.twitter.com/cNtPLiEYMM
— Jeudepuissance (@jeudepuissance) January 20, 2019
Pros: Can reach things on the top shelf. Makes good poutine.
Cons: French accent.
Pros: Great name for rhyming games.
Cons: That’s really all he can contribute.
Phil Di Giuseppe
Pros: Probably a good cook.
Cons: Endless sauce vs. gravy discussions.
Di Giuseppe grew up near Toronto and said he never heard it called gravy until Tony said it.
— Vince Z. Mercogliano (@vzmercogliano) February 26, 2020
Pros: Can motivate you to do anything at the beginning and end of the day.
Cons: Boston accents are worse than French accents. Nowhere to be found in the middle of the day.
Pros: Old man yells at cloud.
Cons: Old man yells at cloud.