Do’s and Dont’s of a hockey-less quarantine

Hockey isn’t starting up for a while. Even our guess of resuming in June proved to be too optimistic, as Toronto has just banned public gatherings through June 30. So it looks like we are going to be on hold for quite some time. The quarantine is at least through April 30, which means there’s another month of this. But luckily we have discussed some do’s and dont’s of this hockey-less quarantine.

DO: Seek out highlights on social media and YouTube. There are plenty of accounts tweeting Rangers highlights, and a quick search on YouTube gets you some good results.

DON’T: Ask for highlights from the Devils or Kings.

DO: Shave regularly. The Gandolf look isn’t good.

DON’T: Give yourself a haircut. Just don’t do it.

DO: Support your local bloggers and podcasts. Read their stuff. Listen to their podcasts.

DON’T: Listen to the podcast with a stranger using the same headphones.

DO: Find a way to improve your health routines. You’re home, for the most part, and there are plenty of ways for you to get 15 minutes of exercise per day.

DON’T: Invite people over and start your own home gym for cash.

DO: Watch MSG for old Rangers games. They will be playing some good ones.

DON’T: Rely on the NHL Network for this.

DO: Try on jeans and suits regularly. Sweatpants are deceiving.

DON’T: Drink and online shop.

DO: Remember the good old days when Gary Thorne called hockey.

DON’T: Remember the good old days when the NHL landed on the Outdoor Life Network, later rebranded as Versus.

DO: Draft research and speculate about what the Rangers will do this offseason.

DON’T: Look ahead to the 2021 offseason when the CBA expires, the TV deal expires, and the NHL expands.

DO: Find something to binge on.

DON’T: Try to buy a tiger.

DO: Search out videos and gifs of Mika Zibanejad being happy.

DON’T: Try the Artemi Panarin leg kick at home.

DO: Find a new hobby.

DON’T: Name your kid “Quarantine”.

DO: Watch The Price Is Right.

DON’T: Get irrationally frustrated at bad price guesses.

DO: Stay inside and thank your essential workers.

DON’T: Shake their hands, hug them, or kiss them.