Aug
21

Game of Thrones: New York Rangers edition

August 21, 2017, by

If you’re like me, then you spend your Sundays counting the hours until Game of Thrones comes on TV. Lately, it’s a miracle if you’re able to avoid spoilers, and to those of us who can, the reward is phenomenal.

But haven’t you ever wondered who would excel at ruling Westeros from the Rangers? Who would be Littlefinger, manipulating the war? Who would be Jon Snow, the stoic and reluctant leader? Who would be Cersei, capable of a level of evil we can’t even imagine? Well have no fear. Winter is here at Blue Seat Blogs.

Spoiler warning: There are some minor plot points from prior seasons that get covered here. These aren’t massive spoilers, but if you haven’t watched through Season Six, you might want to skip this.

Jon Snow

The leader who was forced into that position. He never asked for power. He earned the respect of his teammates by being good at what he does and by respecting others that deserve it. He died for his brothers, and now he leads them in an impossible task against hoards of enemies.

This one is easy, it’s clearly Ryan McDonagh. McDonagh was given the ‘C’ only after Ryan Callahan priced his way out of New York. He didn’t ask for it. He earned it. He also died for his brothers, falling on the sword that was the corpse of Dan Girardi for the past few seasons.

Sansa Stark

Sansa was blamed for everything that went wrong in King’s Landing. It was her fault Ned lost her head, as she couldn’t convince Joffrey otherwise. It was her fault Joffrey was poisoned. It was her fault that the Battle of the Bastards was a last second win. It was also her fault that White Walkers exist, if we are giving Rangers fans say in the matter. But after all that, she’s one of the most important people in Westeros, and perhaps the most important person at Winterfell.

This is another easy one: Chris Kreider. It was always Kreider’s fault. He wasn’t smart enough on the ice for Tortorella. He wasn’t good enough to stay consistently with the team until his third pro year. It’s his fault the defense doesn’t play well. It’s always Kreider’s fault, until very recently. And now, he’s one of the most important players on the Rangers. First line talent, first line production, and a matchup disaster for the opposition.

Littlefinger

The man that started it all with a little note to Catelyn Stark. My how Westeros has changed with the chaos he ever so wanted. He manipulates, he cheats, he steals, and he lies to get what he wants. He pits friends against friends to achieve his goals.

This is a bit of a stretch, but let’s go with Jeff Gorton. Gorton is the wizard behind the scenes. He gets friends to give him players that help him achieve his goals. He takes advantage of his friend’s bad situations to get good deals for his players. He draws hard lines in negotiations to get his guys under contract.

Arya Stark

From little child to ruthless assassin. Arya went from baby-faced kid to a girl who can kill an entire army with one sip of wine. She will play a huge role in the war against the White Walkers.

This was a little more difficult, but JT Miller fits the bill here. Miller came up as a kid who couldn’t legally buy a drink. He had talent, but was raw. He fine tuned his craft, and is now one of the top scorers on the team. He can strike at will. He will play a huge role in any future success for the Rangers.

Tyrion Lannister

Undersized and under appreciated. Tyrion is a master at his craft, which is drinking and knowing things. Yet he will always be under appreciated because his skill is not one that people realize is needed.

This may be a stretch, but I think to Rick Nash here. Nash’s craft is no longer the dominating force on the ice, but he still plays his role very well. He still produces at a top-line winger rate. But perhaps his best skill is to draw attention from others. He knows they are going to come to him, and then he just helps his teammates find open ice. I was initially thinking Zucc here, but I had someone else in mind…

Bran Stark

Bran Stark came in as a kid with potential, and now is the all-seeing Three Eyed Raven. He has the vision. He sees everything, everywhere, at all times. He makes any potential threats look silly, as he knows all that has, can, and will happen. His emo attitude and hair only enhance the role.

Clearly this is Mats Zuccarello. Zucc sees everything on the ice. He knows where his teammates will be before they even know where they will be. He makes his opponents look silly with little shifts and shakes. His hair matches that of Bran Stark, and he must be a little emo after watching both Carl Hagelin and Derick Brassard get traded.

Cersei Lannister

Capable of unthinkable evil. Will do anything and everything to keep power. Clearly has to do for a united front.

For poops and giggles, this is a tie between Glen Sather and James Dolan.

Jamie Lannister

Once a feared warrior, Jamie is a shell of his former self. He’s still a very smart tactician, but his skills on the field of battle are severely limited with just one hand. He just can’t cut it in battle that much anymore.

Obviously this is Dan Girardi. Do I need to go into why?

Tormund Giantsbane

Hilarious lines. Good at killing people.

As of his June Twitter interactions, clearly Michael Grabner. HIlarious lines. Good at killing penalties. Was also thinking Kreider here, because he’s good at killing goalies.

Ser Davos

The guy that keeps on sticking around and being of great use to those he advises. He’s not particularly skilled at any one thing, but he’s well balanced enough that it’s kept him alive in a show that has a habit of killing everyone.

Very easily Jesper Fast. Fast is a very good bottom-six guy, not particularly great at any one thing, but does a lot of little things very well. He can play up and down the the lineup in a pinch, and never seems to get in the way of any one line. You wouldn’t count on him for a goal, but you can count on him to make smart plays.

Beric Dondarrion

Keeps coming back alive after multiple deaths. After each death, becomes less and less effective. Still capable of badassery, just not as often.

This is clearly Marc Staal. Was awesome, then lost an eye. Then a concussion. Then another concussion. Then another concussion. Each injury has taken away his skills. But every now and then, he does something flat out awesome.

Ned Stark

Noble. Consistent. Fearless. Took the blame for something he didn’t do, lost his head.

Not even close: Derek Stepan.

The Night King

The hero of the Tree People turned weapon of mass destruction.

Henrik Lundqvistif the Rangers don’t win a Cup with him in net.

Categories : Offseason

14 comments

  1. craig says:

    As you stated; “Clearly this is Mats Zuccarello. Zucc sees everything on the ice. He knows where his teammates will be before they even know where they will be.”
    Sounds somewhat like a potential center man. Why not?
    I wonder if Zucc never will be given a shot at center or at least try it in camp. Last year he was more of a playmaker then a goal scorer. Maybe we will be in for a real surprise this year at center if we can pick up a decent winger or make some adjustments to take his place on wing.

  2. SalMerc says:

    I like AV as Arya Stark, only because of the multiple faces he makes behind the bench. While mostly stoic, we do find him laughing, grimacing and getting red-faced, and as we know, she has multiple faces.

  3. Ryne Muller says:

    Who’s the guy in the picture?

  4. InvalidBeard says:

    The “Tree People”?! The Children!

  5. Rich S says:

    Dave,
    BRILLIANT ARTICLE !!!!!! Just F!@#$%^G BRILLIANT !!!!!! Loved it!!!!!

  6. Pas44 says:

    SWEET!

    Good stuff, thanks for a nice read in August… DROP THE PUCK!

    We should try to put Ranger sayings too the GOT lines…

    Winter’s coming = “Classic’s coming”

    A Lannister Always Pays His Debts = “Girardi Put Us in Debt”

    :0

    you catch the drift…

  7. Brian says:

    Well done. Really good stuff here. My lone gripe is that I would’ve had Zuccy as Arya Stark, given the striking resemblance. They have the same eyes.

  8. Gary Krivo says:

    Tyrion Lannister isn’t Zucc??

  9. avsucks says:

    DROP THE FREAKIN PUCK