Musings: What South Park Teaches Us About Angry Analysts & More…

October 13, 2011, by

It’s Thursdays folks and you know what that means…it’s Musings day!  Chris usually does these, but I think he’s still recovering from his debaucheries in Sweden. Very jealous…

Anyway, I’m trying to figure out an easier-to-read format for these musings, let me know what you think.

Johnny Be Good

If you’re going to tell me that John Tortorella is a bad coach, please come up with a better excuse than “he isn’t giving player X a fair chance.” This isn’t intramurals folks. Playing time is something you earn.

Nerd Approved

I’ve never been a big advanced stat guy. Not because I disagree with the idea of quantifying players in this way, it’s just learning from observing is more of my forte. With that said, certain advanced stats are starting to grow on me.

For those of you old school guys like myself, I suggest checking out George’s game by game summary of the Rangers’ scoring chances. This season he added the type of chances tracked (i.e. rebound, transition rush, etc.), which I think will tell a much better story about our play as the season progresses.

Sean Avery = Jeremy Shockey Syndrome?

The adoration Sean Avery still received until the very end is something I like to call the Jeremy Shockey syndrome. It’s no secret sports fans love a bad-ass player, especially if they have some skill. Once that skill diminishes though, all you are usually left with are expensive ego problems, which inevitably cause headaches in the locker room.

Who else would fit this syndrome? Gary Sheffield anybody?

Lessons From South Park

I don’t know if I mentioned this here before, but I am a huge fan of South Park. They recently did this episode where Cartman and Randy use this “advanced metric” called TMI (a series of complex formulas vs. national averages) in order to prove that their penises aren’t small. Anyway, they fight over this formula and end up joining the “Pissed Off and Angry Party,” which is a collection of other angry dudes who wouldn’t you know it, are also missing a few inches.

So what the hell does this have to do with hockey?

All of this chest pounding with Don Cherry (and the wannabe machismos who follow him) angrily calling the new NHL soft, because players are no longer delivering hits to head, reminded me of the correlation South Park was trying to evoke.

Categories : Musings


  1. Matt J says:

    I don’t know if you guys heard yet but Down Goes Brown’d Shanabuisness is kinda funny.

  2. Walt says:

    On Oct 10, I posted that Step should be placed on the first line, and Dubi on the second, Boyle back on the third. After a few days Tort’s is trying just what I posted, which is smart because we will then have three very good lines again, and the guys will be comfortable with their line mates. I just hope he lets these kids play together, and not tinker right away again. These line combos can, and will work out well, now all we need is for Marc to get healthy again, and our D will be solid for sure.

    • The Suit says:

      Agreed. I just think the first 10-15 games is a trial period. There’s always lots of rotating and trying to get a feel for where everybody is at.

      • wingnut says:

        Agree with both of you’s, but the 1st line winger will be WW. He played very well with both of them and has uber amount of skill.
        Great article – love the Jeremy Shockey Syndrome.

  3. becky says:

    I like the new format, I like that you said playing time needs to be earned, and I like that you mention Shockey, cause I hate him more than I hate Aves. A little uncomfortable about the wiener talk though, even though it makes sense.

  4. jW says:

    I definitely didn’t think I’d be reading the word penis in a Rangers blog today either, but damn that’s a clever concept.