Messier’s Impact as GM

With the Olympic break in full swing, and me on vacation (Note: This post was scheduled a while ago, I’m not magically posting from my cruise. I can’t. And even if I could, I wouldn’t.), there were some volunteers to help keep the content here at BSB in full swing until the NHL returns to action. Over the course of the week, you will be seeing posts from readers here. This post is courtesy of Ben, the lead writer at Bettman’s Nightmare, who analyzes the impact Mark Messier would have if he were GM of the Rangers. If you don’t feel like reading, thats ok, it’s a picture post.

At Bettman’s Nightmare, we have nothing but respect for the Moose. He breathes life into our sorry existence, paralyzes our enemies with icy stares (I know, I know, it should be “glare” but it’s called the “Messier Stare” and I didn’t want to blaspheme), and will never turn down Gary Coleman.

But can he deliver us from Slats?

The recent Jokinen trade has certainly spit-shined Glen Sather’s reputation around the Garden, but as George Carlin once said, “You can’t polish a turd,” and this is one GM that still has a funk.

So in a little stretch of imagination, let’s fantasize about what the Messiah can do for the home team…

- Mark Messier will bring back Cooperalls and Winnwell helmets.

Ron is excited about this.

DO NOT look directly into his eyes.

- Mark Messier will teach Marian Gaborik to fight.

“Maybe it would be better if you started with Brian Gionta.”

- Mark Messier will discover the Missing Link at MSG’s center ice dot.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Gorilla Hartnell, or goaltenderus interferus.”

And finally:

- Mark Messier will re-sign Wade Redden to a 5-year deal worth 50…cents.

Of course I am confident in Moose’s abilities; this is a man who delivered the Cup after 40 years of futility. On the flip side, perhaps a dose of realism is in order:

- Mark Messier will not live up to expectations as a GM.

Hate to be a buzzkill, but I can live with that one. Let’s be reasonable

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